The Dramaqween Pastors Kid

Last night my beloved and I went to dinner and stopped at the grocery store for some things. While standing in front of the freezer section my husband who had a surge or hyperness went into this little dance. I was laughing and he was going nuts! When I turned around I realized that he had drawn a little audience!!!! Embarassed… I just looked at him like REALLY?

We then realized that Karl knew the family from church and while they were talking I over hear the mother whisper to the daughter “Do you know who that is? That’s Pastor Chip’s son and daughter in law!”

 HAHAHAH!

Priceless. I fully expect Karl to do his new little dance in church on Sunday.

I HATE YOU!

Weight has been struggle for me since I had my tonsils out and “opened the flood gates”

A few months ago I realized just how glutton I am! While sitting at a very nice restraunt we happend to be seated towards the back near the kitchen. My friends and I enjoyed an lovely meal and talked non stop. Everyonce in a while I got a whif of a little somethin somethin’ that I made me thankful I didn’t order whatever “that guy” was having.

At the end of the meal we realized that our table had suddenly been surrounded by candle’s discreetly placed. We also noticed that we were the only table left in that section!!!! awkward.

So when the server came back to the table I asked if we smelled or what was going on… she said “ohhhh yeahhhhh our septic backed up in the kitchen and it smells really bad over here. I’m really sorry about that”

Being the frugal one that I am I ask for a discount and the manager. 5 minutes later… dinner was FREE!

On the drive home gloating to my friend on the phone about my free meal I realized that I just DOWNED my etire meal whilst inhaling POOP FUMES! Suddenly the free meal didn’t seem so great. I mean… am I just the biggest piggy to walk this earth that I can devour my meal while the smell of poop lingers. SO GROSS!

I am now a member of weight watchers.

PISSED. I want my tonsils back.

I realize that my last post and this one are on the same date, only the Head vs. Heart was written about a month ago.

Since writing that and staring at my computer screen through tears I’m learning that TIME (and a lot of prayer during that time) helps. The racing heart and fear that comes with knowing change is coming is rough! I’ve gotten my head and heart closer together and can say that while I don’t like my parents moving I LOVE to know that my dad will be joy filled and happy with what he is doing to serve the God he loves and has served most his life. I’ve also had to put my self in my mom’s shoes of what if it were Karl? I’d be pretty miserable if he were.  Hearing her say over the phone that she teared up watching my dad lead in Nebraska just be over the moon excited to be doing what he was doing worshiping God with others in that setting was enough for me to hear.

There will still be tears and we all know how to get each other to cry really well! (drives my hubby nuts!!! He works so hard to make me happy and my mom can give me look and we are both sobbing! HAHAHAH! )  I mean my dad can facebook me a nice little sentance and I am suddenly crying so hard that I pop my knee out of the socket while turning to blow my nose. I must say… that was one of the best cries I have had in a long time. Not his fault… mine… I am the biggest Klutz ever. Maybe that is his fault… he is too! hahaha !

I guess I can bust out my overalls and head out west for visits where they can’t send me home easily as they can now.

God is ALWAYS good, it just doesn’t always FEEL like it… at least not right away.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately how dependant on other people we are for security. It’s a common joke and reality that women go to the bathroom in pairs. We go to the mall in pairs and groups. It’s just nice to have someone else there with you. Not to mention social events! Nothing is worse then being at a party where you know only the host.

Until recently thats exactly how I felt about heaven. Just NOT quite ready. I just imagine this big party with gold roads and the host is going to be too busy to talk to me and I’ll feel awkward because I don’t know anyone. In my head I know that that is not really how it will be, but a fear at the same time.  Foolishly because I can’t comprehend how heaven will actually be. But now that I know more people who are now there… its seems so much better! I’m quite annoyed with myself for being excited to see my two grandpa’s  and aunt more then heaven. Granted, my curiosity is peaked with a slight nervousness about how I’ll actually get there.

I’ve found myself  the few weeks after Grandpa Ransom and Grandpa Hettinga passed that I talked to them more then God… Not a long lasting habit, but still. Maybe it’s part of the grieving process. I don’t know.

 Now I realize that as humans we can’t hug God, we can’t carry on a wordy conversation, or even go shopping together. The feeling and relationship I have with God has proven to be less then most people here on earth. Why? Apparently because it’s not easy. There’s a little bit of guilt with the fact that I want to see my gramps more then God. I’m excited to meet God, but I don’t know what I’m missing and it’s bothering me.  It’s just been very eye opening how superficial a relationship can be.

I’m trying to grasp the balance of respect and friendship with a God that I know, but not well enough to miss him and REALLY want to be in heaven with him. 

Just processing all these new feelings…

This is what I read at my grandfather’s funeral on March 13th 2009.

The other night while trying to fall asleep… and having a hard time, I decided to talk to my God who I so often forget to talk to. It went something like this….

(actual conversation)

Hello God,

Long time no talk… sorry. Thank you for my life, I know I’ve been stressed and crabby lately but I really do like my life. I am very blessed. Blessed… (I really need to put that towel on the floor away. How can I get mad at Karl for leaving clothes on the floor when mine are everywhere. When should I do laundry? Maybe Friday… no I get my hair done… hmmmmm OH!) Dear God, Sorry about that! I am sorry for some of the things I say. I run my mouth off sometimes and don’t think about it enough.( I still can’t believe she did that! Sweet mercy… so annoying. I mean how am I supposed to take that!) AND back to you God. This is pathetic really… I can’t even talk to God for more then 30 seconds. I don’t like to pray out loud all the time I feel like satan can hear me, but if I don’t I am ALL over the place! Dear God, please help me to get over this flu bug I have… (what if I am pregnant? Karl will kill me… not really… I wonder what his reaction would be. I’m not. I can’t imagine having ONE more thing to do in my life) God, sorry one more time…  Please help my brother find a good job to take care of his future wife and help them not to be to stressed over graduation and wedding planning. I am so glad I don’t have to do that ever again.  I Thank you for THAT! (I should really get fitted for my dress… when can I do that? Monday? no. huh.) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz

Note to self- daily prayer time should be done sitting up and in daylight.

My apoligies! I have been caught up in life, love and work! Plus I forgot the password and it took me about an hour to figure it out! hahah! Not a good excuse for not writing anything for 5 months… yikes.

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somwhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truthFor here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

I didn’t have a wicked child hood… but my youth leaves little to be desired.

I feel like I’m at this part of this movie right now. Wondering what I did in my life that I derserve the most amazing man EVER! He’ll kill me for writing this… but it’s true.

 If there were a checklist of all the things that make a man a man… my man would be in the top 10.  I find myself overwhelmed with being treated like such a princess. I am well aware that I am spoiled and plan to always know that and never to expect it.

A women came up to me in church and told me that I was the luckiest woman in the world to be with him! At first I smiled and was almost taken aback about her enthusiasm towards him. I knew and continue to find out daily just how blessed I am. I’ve never had anyone want to take care of me, make sure I’m safe and healthy, and work so incredible hard to make me happy.  Karl is truly a man of God and strives to be the best. I’ve never been so proud of anything in my life… then to be with him. 

I really am the luckiest girl in the world and I thank God for that everyday!