Classic!
Last night my beloved and I went to dinner and stopped at the grocery store for some things. While standing in front of the freezer section my husband who had a surge or hyperness went into this little dance. I was laughing and he was going nuts! When I turned around I realized that he had drawn a little audience!!!! Embarassed… I just looked at him like REALLY?
We then realized that Karl knew the family from church and while they were talking I over hear the mother whisper to the daughter “Do you know who that is? That’s Pastor Chip’s son and daughter in law!”
HAHAHAH!
Priceless. I fully expect Karl to do his new little dance in church on Sunday.
Dear Thighs,
I HATE YOU!
Weight has been struggle for me since I had my tonsils out and “opened the flood gates”
A few months ago I realized just how glutton I am! While sitting at a very nice restraunt we happend to be seated towards the back near the kitchen. My friends and I enjoyed an lovely meal and talked non stop. Everyonce in a while I got a whif of a little somethin somethin’ that I made me thankful I didn’t order whatever “that guy” was having.
At the end of the meal we realized that our table had suddenly been surrounded by candle’s discreetly placed. We also noticed that we were the only table left in that section!!!! awkward.
So when the server came back to the table I asked if we smelled or what was going on… she said “ohhhh yeahhhhh our septic backed up in the kitchen and it smells really bad over here. I’m really sorry about that”
Being the frugal one that I am I ask for a discount and the manager. 5 minutes later… dinner was FREE!
On the drive home gloating to my friend on the phone about my free meal I realized that I just DOWNED my etire meal whilst inhaling POOP FUMES! Suddenly the free meal didn’t seem so great. I mean… am I just the biggest piggy to walk this earth that I can devour my meal while the smell of poop lingers. SO GROSS!
I am now a member of weight watchers.
PISSED. I want my tonsils back.
Getting BETTER!
I realize that my last post and this one are on the same date, only the Head vs. Heart was written about a month ago.
Since writing that and staring at my computer screen through tears I’m learning that TIME (and a lot of prayer during that time) helps. The racing heart and fear that comes with knowing change is coming is rough! I’ve gotten my head and heart closer together and can say that while I don’t like my parents moving I LOVE to know that my dad will be joy filled and happy with what he is doing to serve the God he loves and has served most his life. I’ve also had to put my self in my mom’s shoes of what if it were Karl? I’d be pretty miserable if he were. Hearing her say over the phone that she teared up watching my dad lead in Nebraska just be over the moon excited to be doing what he was doing worshiping God with others in that setting was enough for me to hear.
There will still be tears and we all know how to get each other to cry really well! (drives my hubby nuts!!! He works so hard to make me happy and my mom can give me look and we are both sobbing! HAHAHAH! ) I mean my dad can facebook me a nice little sentance and I am suddenly crying so hard that I pop my knee out of the socket while turning to blow my nose. I must say… that was one of the best cries I have had in a long time. Not his fault… mine… I am the biggest Klutz ever. Maybe that is his fault… he is too! hahaha !
I guess I can bust out my overalls and head out west for visits where they can’t send me home easily as they can now. 
God is ALWAYS good, it just doesn’t always FEEL like it… at least not right away.
Heart vs. Head
I started this blog about being a pastors kid and thought of it as my past. It now has become my present also. Not in the way that I anticipated… not a huge fan of suprise to be honest. Unless it’s a gift. 
My father is going to be a pastor again. Only this time they will be 1000 miles away. I’ll be honest and say that I’ve never lived more then 20 minutes from my parents… ever. So the thought of it makes me incredibly sad. Only it makes him incredibly happy to do what he loves.
It makes me wish God could just shoot me and email or leave me a post-it with little hints and to why he does what he does.
The other night at our Couples Bible Study it came up about having a hard time with getting out heads and hearts lined up. So I decided to look up Jeremiah 17:9… a verse I have to remind myself of often. “The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?” So I googled it to see what kind of commentary I could find. And low and behold on the side bar next to all the translations was a photo of jerusalem with a mark right next to the city of BETHANY. huh. Point taken.
I’ve always struggled with the “I know it makes no sense to FEEL this way, but I do.” Where do you draw the line between “a gut feeling” and “common sense” And then I read this Romans 1:21 “For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” It is SO hard to be thankful for something you don’t want, but knowing it’s what God wants tends to put it in to perspective. So I continue to try to balance feelings with facts.
Heaven
I’ve been thinking a lot lately how dependant on other people we are for security. It’s a common joke and reality that women go to the bathroom in pairs. We go to the mall in pairs and groups. It’s just nice to have someone else there with you. Not to mention social events! Nothing is worse then being at a party where you know only the host.
Until recently thats exactly how I felt about heaven. Just NOT quite ready. I just imagine this big party with gold roads and the host is going to be too busy to talk to me and I’ll feel awkward because I don’t know anyone. In my head I know that that is not really how it will be, but a fear at the same time. Foolishly because I can’t comprehend how heaven will actually be. But now that I know more people who are now there… its seems so much better! I’m quite annoyed with myself for being excited to see my two grandpa’s and aunt more then heaven. Granted, my curiosity is peaked with a slight nervousness about how I’ll actually get there.
I’ve found myself the few weeks after Grandpa Ransom and Grandpa Hettinga passed that I talked to them more then God… Not a long lasting habit, but still. Maybe it’s part of the grieving process. I don’t know.
Now I realize that as humans we can’t hug God, we can’t carry on a wordy conversation, or even go shopping together. The feeling and relationship I have with God has proven to be less then most people here on earth. Why? Apparently because it’s not easy. There’s a little bit of guilt with the fact that I want to see my gramps more then God. I’m excited to meet God, but I don’t know what I’m missing and it’s bothering me. It’s just been very eye opening how superficial a relationship can be.
I’m trying to grasp the balance of respect and friendship with a God that I know, but not well enough to miss him and REALLY want to be in heaven with him.
Just processing all these new feelings…
My Grandpa… he will be greatly missed.
This is what I read at my grandfather’s funeral on March 13th 2009.
A.D.D Prayer
The other night while trying to fall asleep… and having a hard time, I decided to talk to my God who I so often forget to talk to. It went something like this….
(actual conversation)
Hello God,
Long time no talk… sorry. Thank you for my life, I know I’ve been stressed and crabby lately but I really do like my life. I am very blessed. Blessed… (I really need to put that towel on the floor away. How can I get mad at Karl for leaving clothes on the floor when mine are everywhere. When should I do laundry? Maybe Friday… no I get my hair done… hmmmmm OH!) Dear God, Sorry about that! I am sorry for some of the things I say. I run my mouth off sometimes and don’t think about it enough.( I still can’t believe she did that! Sweet mercy… so annoying. I mean how am I supposed to take that!) AND back to you God. This is pathetic really… I can’t even talk to God for more then 30 seconds. I don’t like to pray out loud all the time I feel like satan can hear me, but if I don’t I am ALL over the place! Dear God, please help me to get over this flu bug I have… (what if I am pregnant? Karl will kill me… not really… I wonder what his reaction would be. I’m not. I can’t imagine having ONE more thing to do in my life) God, sorry one more time… Please help my brother find a good job to take care of his future wife and help them not to be to stressed over graduation and wedding planning. I am so glad I don’t have to do that ever again. I Thank you for THAT! (I should really get fitted for my dress… when can I do that? Monday? no. huh.) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
Note to self- daily prayer time should be done sitting up and in daylight.
Much much to long!
My apoligies! I have been caught up in life, love and work! Plus I forgot the password and it took me about an hour to figure it out! hahah! Not a good excuse for not writing anything for 5 months… yikes.
Sound up “I will survive” by Gloria Gaynor
Last week proved to pretty much put me on the Bridezilla chart! While I may be very prepared for this wedding of mine I found myself on the phone with my quite confused fiance’, in the wine isle at the grocery store…. whispering loudly “I JUST FEEL CRAZY!!!”
Almost in tears I explained that this new medication was messing with my head and I didn’t like it. Normally things that didn’t bother me at all sent me right off the deep end in anger. So not only was I topic of conversation at potentially many dinner tables that night of people who shopped at the same store… I also found myself staring at a woman at the opposing gas pump (who was doing nothing wrong) and wanting to grab her by her hair and throw her down. WHAT?! Who thinks that? My next thought was “I am going to be the craziest pregnant woman alive. This must be what it’s like” Side note…. there is no bun in the oven, unless Jesus is coming back…. pretty sure it won’t be that way.
I’ve hit that wall where I just want to be married. I know that 44 days from now will be glorious… but it cannot come fast enough!!!
