A.D.D Prayer April 17, 2008

The other night while trying to fall asleep… and having a hard time, I decided to talk to my God who I so often forget to talk to. It went something like this….

(actual conversation)

Hello God,

Long time no talk… sorry. Thank you for my life, I know I’ve been stressed and crabby lately but I really do like my life. I am very blessed. Blessed… (I really need to put that towel on the floor away. How can I get mad at Karl for leaving clothes on the floor when mine are everywhere. When should I do laundry? Maybe Friday… no I get my hair done… hmmmmm OH!) Dear God, Sorry about that! I am sorry for some of the things I say. I run my mouth off sometimes and don’t think about it enough.( I still can’t believe she did that! Sweet mercy… so annoying. I mean how am I supposed to take that!) AND back to you God. This is pathetic really… I can’t even talk to God for more then 30 seconds. I don’t like to pray out loud all the time I feel like satan can hear me, but if I don’t I am ALL over the place! Dear God, please help me to get over this flu bug I have… (what if I am pregnant? Karl will kill me… not really… I wonder what his reaction would be. I’m not. I can’t imagine having ONE more thing to do in my life) God, sorry one more time…  Please help my brother find a good job to take care of his future wife and help them not to be to stressed over graduation and wedding planning. I am so glad I don’t have to do that ever again.  I Thank you for THAT! (I should really get fitted for my dress… when can I do that? Monday? no. huh.) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz

Note to self- daily prayer time should be done sitting up and in daylight.

Much much to long! April 17, 2008

My apoligies! I have been caught up in life, love and work! Plus I forgot the password and it took me about an hour to figure it out! hahah! Not a good excuse for not writing anything for 5 months… yikes.

Sound up “I will survive” by Gloria Gaynor October 4, 2007

Last week proved to pretty much put me on the Bridezilla chart! While I may be very prepared for this wedding of mine I found myself on the phone with my quite confused fiance’, in the wine isle at the grocery store…. whispering loudly “I JUST FEEL CRAZY!!!”

Almost in tears I explained that this new medication was messing with my head and I didn’t like it. Normally things that didn’t bother me at all sent me right off the deep end in anger. So not only was I topic of conversation at potentially many dinner tables that night of people who shopped at the same store… I also found myself staring at a woman at the opposing gas pump (who was doing nothing wrong) and wanting to grab her by her hair and throw her down. WHAT?! Who thinks that? My next thought was “I am going to be the craziest pregnant woman alive. This must be what it’s like” Side note…. there is no bun in the oven, unless Jesus is coming back…. pretty sure it won’t be that way.

I’ve hit that wall where I just want to be married. I know that 44 days from now will be glorious… but it cannot come fast enough!!!

To be or not to be Bridezilla August 16, 2007

“Will you marry me?” 
Sweet Mercy!

Everything froze.  My mind went wild and I thought This is the moment I have dreamed about my whole life!!!

“YES! OF COURSE! YES!”

 

We hugged, then stared at the clouds which looked amazing that day. I reminded myself to remember the moment forever because memory loss and blacking out moments like this isn‘t uncommon for me; like the first time we were introduced and our first kiss.

I am rarely speechless, but this moment I was.  Eventually the bliss of this forever-moment turned into “Oh my!  We have lots to do!”

The first few days were not what I expected; mostly stress and chaos in this less-than-laid-back brain of mine. Standing in the driveway sobbing “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!!! This should be FUN and it’s NOT!” I realized timing, money, and stress were ruining this very special time in my life. I saw just enough of how I act when I’m stressed to say “no more” and refused to give myself even one chance to be a bridezilla. After getting my act together I pulled myself into the ultimate planning mode. God’s provision flowed in and continues to overwhelm us all as the days go by.

I have to laugh at some of the things that have gone on during this process. Who knew that unity candles could be so hideous!?! Or that “of” and “to” on the invitations could cause an argument between my mother and I?  Hands-down the invitations are my least-favorite part of the whole experience. I mean, 370 different fonts?!  I’m sorry, but that just seems a little over the top to me … Times New Roman anyone? It is a good thing I know my florist because I knew the looks she was giving me were deep down filled with love.  Despite the little details that want to drive me nuts, God has really touched my heart in all of this.  The day my mom, my  grandmother and I went shopping for my dress will always have a special place in my heart. 

Karl and I look forward to the day we become one, knowing we will have the joy and honor of sharing who God is and what he means to us that day.  It makes my little hyper-heart skip a beat.  So does looking up and seeing his smile.

Something Good. July 10, 2007

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somwhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truthFor here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good (lyrics from the sound of music)

I didn’t have a wicked child hood… but my youth leaves little to be desired.

I feel like I’m at this part of this movie right now. Wondering what I did in my life that I derserve the most amazing man EVER! He’ll kill me for writing this… but it’s true.

 If there were a checklist of all the things that make a man a man… my man would be in the top 10.  I find myself overwhelmed with being treated like such a princess. I am well aware that I am spoiled and plan to always know that and never to expect it.

A women came up to me in church and told me that I was the luckiest woman in the world to be with him! At first I smiled and was almost taken aback about her enthusiasm towards him. I knew and continue to find out daily just how blessed I am. I’ve never had anyone want to take care of me, make sure I’m safe and healthy, and work so incredible hard to make me happy.  Karl is truly a man of God and strives to be the best. I’ve never been so proud of anything in my life… then to be with him. 

I really am the luckiest girl in the world and I thank God for that everyday!

July 3, 2007

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Brothers… July 2, 2007

Last night at my churches 20-something group, Mosaic, my brother Jared led worship. I was SO proud of him and praising God for how blessed I am.

 Then it hit me… my brotherly blessing are about to multiply. Within eyeshot I could see three of my brothers! Two of them are my soon to be brothers in law. I always thought about having a sister in law and how fabulous that would be. Which it will be, I’m getting the best! I never really thought about adding brothers to the family. Jared can never be replaced… if you know him you know that would be hard to do.

My heart is so excited to have these men as an extention of my family. They are all SO different and yet I love them all. God is so good and is revealing just how blessed I am. I knew I was above and WAY beyond what I deserve, but I am daily blown away by what he is doing.

I don’t remember the last time my heart was so full of joy for my future. I am marrying the man of my dreams and my family is expanding and  that makes my heart skip a beat everyday.

I am ENGAGED! June 10, 2007

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PK vs MD May 22, 2007

Sometimes I google Pastors Kids just to see what comes up… Today I found this…

 

(1)	University of Rochester School of Nursing in Rochester, New York

(2)	School of Nursing, University of Rochester, 601Elmwood Ave, 14642 Rochester, NY

 

Abstract:  Pastors” children have been thought to have more behavioral problems than other children since they face high expectations and are part of families that are often under public scrutiny. The purpose of this study was to describe the social competencies and behavioral problems of a national sample of pastors” children, aged 4–16, and to compare them to age and sex standardized norms. Data were obtained on 98 children from a random sample of 62 families, using the Child Behavior Checklist. Results indicate that scores for both boys and girls at each age grouping fell within the acceptable norms for both social competencies and behavioral problems.

 

DUHHHH! Of course we are normal! We just don’t get away with things because we have an entire congregation holding us to a different standard. If I squealed my tires out of the parking lot (yes I have done it… and it was worth it) and Johnny with the 9-5 dad does the same thing, he may get an eye roll or a huff from the older people. I get talked about and my father gets a talking to.  If only we could sin in peace. Kidding.

The price of prayer?! May 22, 2007

The other morning while opening my mail I came upon something that would bug me for weeks! It was an envelope from “St Matthews” in Oklahoma. Inside was a paper prayer rug perfectly folded, probably by a machine from what I could tell.

Confused and somewhat creeped out by this sheet of paper I read the rest.  

 Also included was a sheet of paper that read…

Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look, you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and He will begin looking back at you. Jesus sees your needs (Philippians 4:19). Use this unusual, important, Church Prayer Rug for tonight only.

Let us ask you: Would you like to have God’s blessings upon Your home, your family and your finances? Say, “Yes, Lord Jesus, I do need Your financial blessings upon me and my family’s finances!” Deuteronomy 28:6 Just put a mark by your needs below, telling us that you want prayer. Also, check any other needs you are facing. Pray about sowing a seed gift to the Lord’s work. Give God your best seed and believe Him for His best blessing (St. Luke 6:38). Now, go and use this Church, Faith, Prayer Rug. The Lord is watching and waiting. You are about to enter the Holy Spirit of God right here in your home, through this faith exercise. Then, it is a must that you return it for another to use.

What happend to just talking to God for free?  What would prompt someone to think that they would need to kneel on a 9×13 piece of paper to be heard?  The people who work this scam have reaped $26 million dollars! That just shows how many people are searching and reaching out for help. 

 Some of my best talks with God are simply in my car while I’m driving or just going through my day. I’ve never thought to pick out  a rug to bend a knee on! Maybe I would be more disciplined if I had one. kidding.

I had to laugh as I read it to Karl over the phone… they want me to send it back with money so someone else can use it? Clearly no one used it before me, unless they iron the knee marks and tears out of them to mail them again. My laughter turned to nausea. Who are all those people out there who send in their hard earned money to be heard by God? Why have they not heard that God hears them regardless.  My heart aches as I write this picturing all those hopeless people who believed that they had to go to such great lengths to be heard.

If only there were a way to get their mailing list and share the TRUTH about prayer. It’s not through a rug, or a human sized box in a church, or a necklace, or a box!!! I am comforted to know…

1 Corinthians 3: 20    And again, The Lord knows the thoughts and reasonings of the [humanly] wise and recognizes how futile they are.